Plans Failing: Learning to Embrace the Unexpected and Rise Above the Chaos -

Have you ever made plans that you are so excited for and they end up failing so badly? That has been my life lately since 2021. I had my photography side hustle up and running in 2020 and 2021 was the year to go full time! Shortly into the year I woke up with bad pain from my neck through my arm. I was convinced that I had slept wrong. A few days went by and it just kept getting worse. I ended up in the emergency room begging for help to relieve the pain. This was not the year that I expected. Can you relate?

Neatly arranged medical supplies on a shelf in a hospital setting, featuring gloves, containers, and paperwork.

Emergency Room Visit

Hours went by and finally I was called back. They dismissed my pain as muscular and gave me a steroid shot to get the inflammation down. Days went by and things did not get better, they only got worse. By this point I was living in tears and had to take super hot baths to get the nerve pain to stop. I made an appointment with my regular physician and begged for an MRI. He told me he knew what it was like to live with JDD & DDD (Joint degenerative disease and disc degenerative disease). He didn’t think the pain was unbearable but to prove that he would send me for an MRI.

Leaning on God’s Promises

Through all of the waiting I leaned into God’s promises. He says in Psalm 91:11 “For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go” NLT This is a verse that will forever be special to me because it reminded me every second that I would be okay no matter what was to come.

A state-of-the-art MRI scanner in a well-lit hospital room, ready for patient use.

MRI Results

I didn’t even make it home from the doctor’s office when my doctor called me apologizing. He said what we found was definitely not what he expected. After being treated like I was overreacting they found out that I had a pinched nerve and my spinal canal was closing in on itself. It wasn’t emergency surgery as in needed within 24 hours but very urgent. Thy scheduled my surgery for just a few weeks later.

Prayer

The days leading up to the surgery I spent so much time in prayer. I wish that I could tell you that I trusted God without question but that’s just not the case. I was mad at God. Why am I going through this? Why would you give me a photography business just to make me shut it down every time I need surgery? What am I supposed to do when my family needs them and I can’t help? I sat with all of that for a while. Once I wasn’t so angry I sought out wise counsel in church leaders, family and friends. They reminded me that anything that was meant to tear me apart wasn’t from God but he would turn it into something good.

Healing More Than Just My Neck

When I got ready for the surgery they told me all the things that could go wrong but it was take the chance or be paralyzed. There really wasn’t an option to not do the surgery, was there? However I didn’t expect to come out sounding like Mickey Mouse! I had this squeaky voice and I felt like there was a hole in my throat. (like on the inside) I kept feeling like air was seeping out as I tried to talk. Everyone kept telling me it was just part of the healing process and I would get better. Turns out my vocal cord was paralyzed during surgery. I will never sound like I did for all of those years before I got my neck surgery. My family called after the procedure and didn’t even know I was the one that answered the phone.

Through all of my recovery and the bumps in the road along the way I kept my eyes on Jesus. It was hard—so hard at times—but I trusted that He was with me in each moment. Even when things felt uncertain or frustrating, I clung to the truth that He never left my side, and that gave me peace, even when I couldn’t find my voice.

So many people are ashamed of their scars and try to hide them but I have chosen to embrace mine. It is such a good way to bring up my faith and to be able to show others how to stay strong in the chaos that life throws your way.

Share the Love!

I’d love to hear about any cool scars you have or ways you’ve been able to bring up your faith to others. Sometimes, our scars—whether physical or emotional—can be an incredible way to share the story of God’s faithfulness in our lives. How has God used your journey to strengthen your faith or to open doors for you to encourage others? Share your thoughts in the comments below or pass this article along to a friend who might find it helpful. Let’s keep sharing and growing together!